That’s Not a Morphy Richards, Gladys

AN ITEM SUPPOSEDLY up for grabs at last night’s auction at The Gleaners may have been donated in error, it is claimed.

‘That handsome young man with the small wooden hammer looked terribly embarrassed,’ said Gladys Minkington, 87, of Dover Beck Close.

‘He saw it in its box and started to announce it as a ‘mint condition, battery-powered buzzing object with multiple attachments and variable speed settings’ when he went all red-faced and spluttery.

‘Mint condition? Not a bit of it. I’ve had lots of use out of it for years, thank you, since buying it with coupons out of a magazine.

‘But now it’s time to get rid. I just hope someone else gets as much pleasure out of that food mixer as I did.’

Gladys’ friend Brenda, who is also 87, wrote in her diary:

‘Oh dear. Gladys is losing her marbles. It’s not a food mixer, it’s her [REST OF SENTENCE ILLEGIBLE].’